hello again, tumblr. sweet dreams, world.
hello. my name is laura.
i'm afraid of the internet and yet here we are.
hello again, tumblr. sweet dreams, world.
I just got around to watching Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the other night - or as I call it, Britain’s answer to The Expendables - and I can’t get this song from it out of my head. This may be due in no small part to how out of place it felt in the movie. For a film that practices a near excruciating amount of restraint in both its pacing and performances, it was a little bizarre they chose to underline the closing minutes of the film with Julio Iglesias singing “Beyond the Sea” in French. It was a little weird, a little macabre, and I totally loved it.
VJ set by Laura. (at Vimeo HQ)
Duh #winning #niceilike #doimakeyouhorny
Once a month I watch this video to get psyched for my trip to Iceland this July. 51 days and counting!
Anyone have some hot tips on what to see in this magical country?
There are far fewer trumpets and confetti than I expected on my final day of this
fad elimination diet. When I started 30 days ago, I thought today would be a day of jubilation and relief. A day where the prospect of tomorrow’s pizza would levitate my spirits throughout the rest of today.
In reality, I probably won’t eat pizza tomorrow and the downpour that accompanied me on my office commute this morning is really harshing my buzz. The purpose of the whole30, at least as I understand it, is to encourage a lifestyle change. For all intents and purposes for me it did. I lost a little bit of weight, though not as much as I expected, and I’ve cheated here and there with red wine and miniature reece’s peanut butter cups. Maybe those slips make the whole(30) thing feel illegitimate, half-finished, etc. Maybe it’s just highlighted the fact that I’m incredibly hard on myself and my perfectionist nature will never let me feel accomplished even if I haven’t had a slice of pizza or a candy bar or yogurt or bread in 30 days.
That said, it has really helped me suss out a few things:
The last point is the most problematic. When you live in a culture obsessed with food, and then decide to overhaul your eating habits, it’s impossible not to think and fret over them constantly. And when you do that, you are constantly thinking about yourself - your schedule, your world, your needs (mostly hunger-based). The whole30 made me feel better, but I’m not sure it made me a better person. Not that eating 4 slices of hawaiian pizza, washing them down with 4 companion beers, and sleeping until 1 PM on Sunday is tantamount to good person-hood. But if I am to split my life up into 30-day increments, I’d like to spend the next few legs focusing on others.
30 days seems like no time at all. Particularly this year which has flown by at a frightening rate. But the past 30 days have felt like some of the longest of my life, and prove how much can happen over the course of one month. I trained for a half marathon, I celebrated a cousin’s birthday, I’ve dealt with and am still dealing with an extended family members’s stage 4 cancer diagnosis, an integral member of my work team just quit sending some serious adjustment ripples through our small departments, the Houston Rockets forced a Game 6 on the OKC Thunder only to fall apart in the 4th quarter, I learned how to make baked sweet potato falafel. This chunk of time was filled with insignificant moments and major changes, some of which I will probably forget in a month and some that will have lasting effects. I guess I’m thankful to the whole30 for shining a light on these particular days, while giving me permission to really focus on myself so that now I can push my energy outwards.
Tonight, I celebrate with a face full of hummus. No legumes? Seriously, whole30?!?!
a little steve martin whimsy before lunch never hurt anybody.
while it may still fall under the 85-15 rule, my weekend qualifies as a fail on a personal level. apparently what it takes to lead me astray from a strict paleo diet is a 10-mile run and two birthday parties. Over the course of 3 days, my cheats consist as follows:
What a tear, right? I mean seriously, lock me up and throw away the key! In all honesty, it could have been much worse. Old me might have devoured an entire artichoke dip by myself, added a few fancy whiskey cocktails to the mix, and had 2 pieces of cake per night. It could be much worse, and I balanced my cheats with a lot of healthy meats, fish, and veggies. But as I’m so close to being done with the technical whole30, I can’t help but wonder how difficult it would have been for me to hold off for one more weekend.
It’s also a reminder of how many opportunities (read: temptations) to binge on sugar and grains offer themselves to me on a daily basis. I think the positive takeaway is not that I’m constantly at war with instant gratification impulses. But rather, since I have the chance to indulge in them on the reg, I don’t need to treat every opportunity to eat cake as the last opportunity I will ever have to eat cake.
Chances are there will be cake next weekend.
At the end of today, I will be 2/3 done with the Whole30 diet adventure/journey. It’s been a while since I’ve written about it, mostly because I’m bored with how much I talk about it. On one level, it has trained me to snack healthier and not constantly eat. But while I no longer crave pizza at all times, I still talk about my diet ad nauseam. I speculate about what cheats are too cheaty (I have had my share of cheats), and wonder aloud whether it was smart to start training for a half marathon simultaneous to starting this diet. The thing is it’s not really a diet, per se. At least not in the traditional way we think of diets. I always thought diets meant reduction, not elimination. I will eat less of everything, go hungry, and that is the only way to get healthier. I’ve also never dieted.
In reality, though, the whole30 is just training you to make better choices. A realistic way to harness the strength of your willpower. Sure, I have eliminated dairy, sugar, grains, and alcohol (most of the time…), but I still eat very hearty meals, 3 of them every day, and have snacks in between. I’ve had the occasional carb, the occasional sweet, the occasional glass of wine, but whereas before I might have had a whole bagel slathered in creamcheese, 4 slices of pizza, or a second helping of cake - now I can just have a bite of one and be satisfied.
Some days are harder than others, but what I have found I miss is not the specific foods but rather the comfort of sugar/bread. They’re quick to consume, quick to digest - instant gratification. But they’re ultimately unsatisfying, leaving you wanting more. To some extent, the whole30 has trained me to be satisfied, to be content, to focus my energy on something other than where my next little piece of gratification.
I’m planning on keeping up with this as much as possible after Day 30, but the siren’s call of pita & hummus, a cold beer on a hot summer’s day, and 16 Handles will be tough calls to ignore.
This is amazing.
I quit my job last month. A lot of people were surprised. To be honest, even I was a little surprised. Since then, though, I’ve fielded a lot of emails, phone calls, coffee dates, and dinner conversations about The Big Decision.
How does it feel? How did I make it? Was it the right one? (Great….