slowly losing my mindgrapes

hello. my name is laura.
i'm afraid of the internet and yet here we are.

August 14, 2014 at 10:49am
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Source material:

August 11, 2014 at 1:18pm
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Let’s shut it down folks. This guy just won the Internet. 

December 15, 2013 at 8:43pm
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hello again, tumblr. sweet dreams, world.

May 29, 2013 at 10:56am
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Phoenix "Entertainment" from Final Cut on Vimeo.

May 23, 2013 at 1:31pm
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I just got around to watching Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the other night - or as I call it, Britain’s answer to The Expendables - and I can’t get this song from it out of my head. This may be due in no small part to how out of place it felt in the movie. For a film that practices a near excruciating amount of restraint in both its pacing and performances, it was a little bizarre they chose to underline the closing minutes of the film with Julio Iglesias singing “Beyond the Sea” in French. It was a little weird, a little macabre, and I totally loved it. 

May 10, 2013 at 5:16pm
11 notes
Reblogged from andreaallen

VJ set by Laura. (at Vimeo HQ)

Duh #winning #niceilike #doimakeyouhorny


VJ set by Laura. (at Vimeo HQ)

Duh #winning #niceilike #doimakeyouhorny

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Inspired by Iceland Video from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.

Once a month I watch this video to get psyched for my trip to Iceland this July. 51 days and counting!

Anyone have some hot tips on what to see in this magical country?

May 9, 2013 at 10:35am
2 notes

whole30, day 30

There are far fewer trumpets and confetti than I expected on my final day of this fad elimination diet. When I started 30 days ago, I thought today would be a day of jubilation and relief. A day where the prospect of tomorrow’s pizza would levitate my spirits throughout the rest of today. 

In reality, I probably won’t eat pizza tomorrow and the downpour that accompanied me on my office commute this morning is really harshing my buzz. The purpose of the whole30, at least as I understand it, is to encourage a lifestyle change. For all intents and purposes for me it did. I lost a little bit of weight, though not as much as I expected, and I’ve cheated here and there with red wine and miniature reece’s peanut butter cups. Maybe those slips make the whole(30) thing feel illegitimate, half-finished, etc. Maybe it’s just highlighted the fact that I’m incredibly hard on myself and my perfectionist nature will never let me feel accomplished even if I haven’t had a slice of pizza or a candy bar or yogurt or bread in 30 days.

That said, it has really helped me suss out a few things:

  • I now have a better sense of the “bad” foods I actually like, and the ones I just eat out of boredom. I think/hope this will help me make smarter eating choices moving forward
  • I have significantly cut out my daily consumption of added sugars, dairy, and grains - and my stomach has been all the better for it
  • It has not necessarily helped me sleep better, but that could be due to my increase in coffee consumption to combat cravings #noregrets
  • I would sincerely like to stop drinking, but that’s much harder to do than I thought. This is a character trait I do not wish to unpack until my 30’s
  • I’m happy to have eggs and smoothies for breakfast every morning
  • I still think about food all the time
  • I like cooking dinner and packing lunch
  • The money I saved on eating out all the time just went to other expenses like registering for a half marathon and a marathon and clothes. 
  • I’m bad with money.
  • Doing a diet has made me exponentially more self-absorbed

The last point is the most problematic. When you live in a culture obsessed with food, and then decide to overhaul your eating habits, it’s impossible not to think and fret over them constantly. And when you do that, you are  constantly thinking about yourself - your schedule, your world, your needs (mostly hunger-based). The whole30 made me feel better, but I’m not sure it made me a better person. Not that eating 4 slices of hawaiian pizza, washing them down with 4 companion beers, and sleeping until 1 PM on Sunday is tantamount to good person-hood. But if I am to split my life up into 30-day increments, I’d like to spend the next few legs focusing on others.

30 days seems like no time at all. Particularly this year which has flown by at a frightening rate. But the past 30 days have felt like some of the longest of my life, and prove how much can happen over the course of one month. I trained for a half marathon, I celebrated a cousin’s birthday, I’ve dealt with and am still dealing with an extended family members’s stage 4 cancer diagnosis, an integral member of my work team just quit sending some serious adjustment ripples through our small departments, the Houston Rockets forced a Game 6 on the OKC Thunder only to fall apart in the 4th quarter, I learned how to make baked sweet potato falafel.  This chunk of time was filled with insignificant moments and major changes, some of which I will probably forget in a month and some that will have lasting effects. I guess I’m thankful to the whole30 for shining a light on these particular days, while giving me permission to really focus on myself so that now I can push my energy outwards. 

Tonight, I celebrate with a face full of hummus. No legumes? Seriously, whole30?!?!

May 7, 2013 at 11:29am
5 notes

a little steve martin whimsy before lunch never hurt anybody. 

May 5, 2013 at 11:01pm
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whole30, day 26 - in which our heroine falls off the wagon

while it may still fall under the 85-15 rule, my weekend qualifies as a fail on a personal level. apparently what it takes to lead me astray from a strict paleo diet is a 10-mile run and two birthday parties. Over the course of 3 days, my cheats consist as follows:

  • 1 piece of pita bread
  • 1/2 cup (ish) of hummus (chickpeas are technically not paleo, seems counter-intuitive but i’m no scientist)
  • 1 biscuit
  • 4 glasses of red wine + a tasting of champagne
  • A healthy few bites of crostini & artichoke dip (aka melted cheese for days)
  • A piece of a piece of cake
  • Another piece of cake (separate night)
  • Corn chips (organic, but still)

What a tear, right? I mean seriously, lock me up and throw away the key! In all honesty, it could have been much worse. Old me might have devoured an entire artichoke dip by myself, added a few fancy whiskey cocktails to the mix, and had 2 pieces of cake per night. It could be much worse, and I balanced my cheats with a lot of healthy meats, fish, and veggies. But as I’m so close to being done with the technical whole30, I can’t help but wonder how difficult it would have been for me to hold off for one more weekend.

It’s also a reminder of how many opportunities (read: temptations) to binge on sugar and grains offer themselves to me on a daily basis. I think the positive takeaway is not that I’m constantly at war with instant gratification impulses. But rather, since I have the chance to indulge in them on the reg, I don’t need to treat every opportunity to eat cake as the last opportunity I will ever have to eat cake.

Chances are there will be cake next weekend.